I met Heather while editing Chicken Soup for the Soul – Power Moms. Heather wrote a great story about adjusting to life in the suburbs as a stay-at-home mom. In addition to raising her kids and writing stories about her life, Heather authors a blog that gets to the realities of mothering and life. Check out her blog at http://mommytruths.com! Here is my interview:

Q: How many children do you have and what are their ages?

A: Charlie is five and Sophie is three.

 

Q: When did you decide to leave work and stay home with them?

A: After returning to work part-time for Charlie’s first year, I decided it was too hard to return home and find him already asleep for the night (yes, my son slept from six pm to six am at about five months) and I wanted the freedom to expand into the mommy job. The two days I was off were so precious; I wanted all week to relax into being with him. My company kept me on as a consultant for 10 hours/ month which seemed like a nice solution.

 

At the end of Charlie’s second year, right before Sophie was born, I resumed working 10 hours/week. This seems, and is, the perfect balance except that before your kids are in school, any work means sitters or daycare and a trade-off in your time with them.

 

Q: What did you do before having children?

A: I started in magazine and web publishing and at the time my son was born, I was vice president at a technology research firm, managing products and launching a book publishing program with Harvard Business Press.

 

Q: When did you move to the suburbs?

A: I’m a country girl and have always lived in the burbs, except for a short stint in San Francisco after college. I tried living in New York City in my mid-twenties and lasted three months. My husband and I bought our first house in Weston, CT, my hometown. Scary, but true.

 

Q: In your essay for Power Moms, you write about the transition to being a stay home mom. Do you think most women go through this?

 

A: Yes! All women I’ve met who left their jobs talk about the isolation they experience when they are first home all day. I’ve heard stories from women who moved to my small town with an infant or toddler and had a really hard couple of years. I shudder to think of these talented, intelligent, driven women cooped up in their homes all day.

 

New motherhood is one of the hardest times to meet other women. College and workplaces foster relationships, as does the school system when your children enter preschool or kindergarten. But there’s this two to three year window where you have to actively work at networking to meet other moms and build your community.

 

The moms I meet who seem to find the right replacements of social interaction, creative stimulation and fulfillment after leaving their careers, are the ones who find a good playgroup or moms club, join a charitable organization to apply their skills, and regularly get out with the girls.

 

Q: Do you think women like to talk about the things they DON’T enjoy being at home with their kids?

A: Absolutely! What else do you think we talk about? Conversations start with the nuisance of spit up, poop and breastfeeding schedules and move to how to manage whining, sleep, and problem playmates. They also talk about missing aspects of their careers and wondering what type of part-time work to pursue.

 

Q: When did you decide to start writing a blog?

A: In 2007, I started writing essays about motherhood. I first approached local newspapers to start a motherhood column and when that didn’t pan out, I started my blog, MommyTruths.com.

 

Q: Why did you decide to do this? What do you get out of it?

A: I’ve been a writer all my life: Poetry in childhood, technology journalist in my early career, magazine editor later and short stories here and there. I was out of practice after working at a corporate job and having my two children, but I forced myself to start writing again.

 

I do it because it keeps me sane. Writing fulfills my creative side and expends the crazy, churning mommy madness bouncing around my head. Raising small children takes every ounce of energy, patience, self-discipline, diplomacy and playfulness I have in me. Writing about it let’s me process the joyful and more frustrating moments.

 

Q: What is it about mommy blogging and other internet activities that attracts so many moms?

A: I think it’s the combination of a lot of talented women who have left their careers and are seeking creative and intellectual expression and a medium that allows unrestricted self publication. Online parenting communities provide the social interaction mothers crave when they are home alone with young children.

 

Q: How often do you write and what things do you give up to write your blog?

A: I write twice a week on Mommytruths.com and I’m usually also working on an essay for a book or magazine and commenting on other web sites.

 

It’s hard to think of what I give up because writing is such a pleasure to me. But I would say sleep and decorating the house.

 

Q: What do you most like to write about?

A: I have fun writing about the stream of crazy events in a mother’s day. Readers comment that they’ve had a similar experience. I also like to provide practical insights and tips on everything from preschool lunch ideas, getting kids to sleep at night, finding babysitters online and I even interviewed my pediatrician on treating swine flu in kids.

 

Q: What are your dreams for the future – yours, not your kids!?

A: I’ve been working on a book about how to use your (former) business skills to manage motherhood and I’d like to see it published. I’d like to keep writing and publishing my work. I get a charge when I’m creatively satisfied and this is when I give my kids the best of me.