Comments on: Social Lives Issue #2: Hooking Up http://wendywalkerbooks.com/2009/08/social-lives-issue-2-hooking-up/ Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:09:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: David W. http://wendywalkerbooks.com/2009/08/social-lives-issue-2-hooking-up/comment-page-1/#comment-1405 David W. Wed, 02 Sep 2009 14:40:36 +0000 http://wendywalkerbooks.com/?p=279#comment-1405 Wendy- Great blog! I too, like you, are from the ancient teen generation and remember when just the idea of talking to a pretty girl at a party was semi-paralyzing act. And then if you struck up enough courage to do it it was exhilirating enough let alone getting a phone number or a date while, simultaneously, trying not to act like the total dork you think you really are. Although as terrifying as it was I wouldn't have changed a thing because it taught me to face one thing....fear. Talking to the opposite sex is scary.....I don't care if you're in your teens, 20, 30's, or lower to mid 40's (which is defined by the scale 40-42, lower: 43-45, mid: 46-49, upper. I reserve the right to change that scale anytime I please since it's my scale. In a few years 47 might be considered 'lower'. Depends on how I feel that day.) But I DO think that the evolution of technology has an effect on the generation that grows up with it. And what social networking and dating sites do is remove alot of the fear that goes into the equation of meeting someone for the first time. For example: That cute girl or boy you had a crush on in Spanish??? It would take a person weeks to work up the courage to talk to him/her when we grew up. Now...a simple email or Facebook message to that person an introduction. No fear involved.... if that person doesn't respond there is no face to face humiliation. No humiliation.....no real fear. Unless she hits you in class the next day.....that would be bad. Anyway, there is a casualness that goes along with that. And, although teenagers feelings haven't changed in the last millenia or so, their attitudes about sex most certainly have. Most of them growing up today have not been brought up with the puritanical ideas about sex we had as kids. (Ask a teenage boy today if he's heard that masturbation grows hair on your palms and I assure you it will be the first time he's heard that.) Kids growing up today are bombarded by sexual images so by the time they are teenagers they are numb to it. Sex, to them, isn't the big deal it was a generation ago. Sort of like the way divorce was scandalous in the 50's and today it's the generally accepted norm. Once you remove the stigma and taboos it's no longer a big deal. I recently saw a piece on the Today show where they interviewed several very bright teenage high school girls on the subject and none of them thought that giving blowjobs meant having sex. One girl didn't even think that anal sex was sex!! (Can't quite figure that one out?) I agree with you that most of them are unsuited to deal with the emotions that come with sex but I don't know if they are denying them or just not feeling them. If it's the latter that is pretty scary. Well, that's my take anyway. Great writing! Can't wait to read the book. DW Wendy- Great blog! I too, like you, are from the ancient teen generation and remember when just the idea of talking to a pretty girl at a party was semi-paralyzing act. And then if you struck up enough courage to do it it was exhilirating enough let alone getting a phone number or a date while, simultaneously, trying not to act like the total dork you think you really are.

Although as terrifying as it was I wouldn’t have changed a thing because it taught me to face one thing….fear. Talking to the opposite sex is scary…..I don’t care if you’re in your teens, 20, 30’s, or lower to mid 40’s (which is defined by the scale 40-42, lower: 43-45, mid: 46-49, upper. I reserve the right to change that scale anytime I please since it’s my scale. In a few years 47 might be considered ‘lower’. Depends on how I feel that day.) But I DO think that the evolution of technology has an effect on the generation that grows up with it. And what social networking and dating sites do is remove alot of the fear that goes into the equation of meeting someone for the first time. For example: That cute girl or boy you had a crush on in Spanish??? It would take a person weeks to work up the courage to talk to him/her when we grew up. Now…a simple email or Facebook message to that person an introduction. No fear involved…. if that person doesn’t respond there is no face to face humiliation. No humiliation…..no real fear. Unless she hits you in class the next day…..that would be bad.

Anyway, there is a casualness that goes along with that. And, although teenagers feelings haven’t changed in the last millenia or so, their attitudes about sex most certainly have. Most of them growing up today have not been brought up with the puritanical ideas about sex we had as kids. (Ask a teenage boy today if he’s heard that masturbation grows hair on your palms and I assure you it will be the first time he’s heard that.) Kids growing up today are bombarded by sexual images so by the time they are teenagers they are numb to it. Sex, to them, isn’t the big deal it was a generation ago. Sort of like the way divorce was scandalous in the 50’s and today it’s the generally accepted norm. Once you remove the stigma and taboos it’s no longer a big deal. I recently saw a piece on the Today show where they interviewed several very bright teenage high school girls on the subject and none of them thought that giving blowjobs meant having sex. One girl didn’t even think that anal sex was sex!! (Can’t quite figure that one out?) I agree with you that most of them are unsuited to deal with the emotions that come with sex but I don’t know if they are denying them or just not feeling them. If it’s the latter that is pretty scary.

Well, that’s my take anyway. Great writing! Can’t wait to read the book.

DW

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